Friday, May 11, 2007


I reluctantly dragged myself to renew a driver's license this morning. I got that sinking feeling as I entered the waiting area and perused the crowd.

Please take a number a sign informs. I inadvertently pulled off two numbers and gave one to the young soldier (he was wearing BDUs) who came in after I did. Number 64. I looked at the big LED sign and noted, 'Now Serving 48.' I seemed drawn to an area and a seat.

I looked around and saw much smaller typed notices on 8.5x11. Had to get up and see if there was anything I needed to know. Sure enough, in order to renew, I had to fill out all eleven questions on short form number DLR 4015 or something. I did that and returned to the same seat. We all get a little territorial don't we?

I looked at the two! clerks handling the traffic and figured an optimistic five minutes per client - a forty minute wait! Why hadn't I brought a book?

Glancing at the empty seat next to mine, I noticed one of the numbered tabs lying there - number 49! A rush of pleasure. I asked the lesbian couple (don't ask) a few places hence if someone was sitting in the seat and had placed the tab there. "No, nobody there."

The friendlier-looking clerk calls out, "number 49." No one jumps up or looks anxious, so I saunter up and lay 49 on the counter. I request that the picture on the new one make me look less of a tater head and the lady says she'll try. They'll mail my new license and I should have it in, "two to four weeks." (I don't ask.)

I hit all the lights on the return trip. I stop by my favorite Jack-in-the-Box and they don't charge me for the drink. I look confused and Sylvia says, "We'll get that one." The mobile rings and Mike says, " I've got some money for you and a new rush job." I finish the job in about an hour and collect two unexpected rewards.

I don't usually play the lottery but that was the next stop. I'll let you know if I win - or maybe not. You know how folks get when they know you've won. But check back to see if anything looks different in a couple of days.

my old license picture


Anonymous said...


Scheiben Honig said...

Thank you! We don't get many anonymous connoisseurs of canine feces coming through here. Perhaps it's because we're new.

We're proud we could make your day.


Wait a minute! The only scat around here is coon doo doo. Ain't been no hounds in bounds. So ya better sniff yer own behind, ya maroon.

TD Kurt Offal said...

Say, anymouse, I know you. You’re the guy from the Miami Dolphin comment threads who adores the ‘Caps Lock’ key.

You should know that it is preferable to hide one’s ignorance rather than shout it out. But it’s encouraging that you were able to find your way here. I’m impressed.

Skully said...

I didn't see a BIG CHUNK OF DOG POOP.
Although aninnymoose does reek! Whew!